Breaking From Sanity
by MyNameIsJag
Summary: In this story, we find our human hero in female form. So yes Dib is a chick, which complicates a lot of things for the Irken invader…until an accident leaves him searching for the truth. Character Death.
1. Chapter 1

**Breaking From Sanity**

**Chapter 1**

**Rain Always Brings Bad News**

By: MyNameIsJag

**Author's Note: I don't own IZ. In this story, we find our human hero in female form. So yes Dib is a chick, which complicates a lot of things for the Irken invader…until an accident leaves him searching for the truth. Gaz is a he and is older then Dib, which is going to make him the older protective brother. Contains some swearing and sexual comments.**

Rain…she loved the rain…it cooled her off as it hit her porcelain skin, her dark ebony hair just made her seem paler as it flowed around her in the gentle breeze…her golden eyes opened to the sky as she heard someone calling out to her. She turned to see her older brother standing in the doorway of the skool holding her jacket, he growled out at her, "Try for years to get you to take off this stupid coat and when you do, it leads to you running around half dressed in the rain." She laughed and twirled, the puddle she was standing in splashed up as though to join her youthful dance, "I'm not half dressed, I'm wearing my usual attire!" She heard another huff from her brother, it was true though, she was dancing in the rain in her knee high black boots, her black skirt swirling with her only to lift enough for a quick glance of panties that matched her tank top, blue with that recognizable face on it.

She heard her name get called out again as a group of jocks passed that had gave a quick whistle at the ballet…earning a 'look' from her brother that sent them scurrying. She laughed, then looked over at her 'guardian', he was glaring at her…he was tiring of her childish ways really quickly...thankfully the rain ended as hurriedly as it began. She sighed before pulling her hair out of it's pony tail, it was hard to get it out of a mess if it was still wet and up, her spike was now sticking to the front of her face instead of holding it's own. She motioned for the jacket and it was thrown at her…unfortunately standing on wet ground and having something thrown at her from her somehow superhuman strong older sibling usually meant she was going to crash backwards…and she did… "Opf!" Strange, she didn't feel like she fell on the wet ground, blinking she realized she was being held up from behind, quickly turning around she was met with strange purple eyes, a sadistic grin…all on that oh, so familiar green face that was uncomfortably close to hers, "Hello…Dib-doll."

She frowned and pushed him off of her, he just tilted his head and continued to smile as though he was the cat that was about to eat the poor caged canary…the canary being her… "No, hello's back?" She rolled her eyes, it had been at least a good five years since they had last fought…Zim finding out he wasn't an invader just made the whole 'saving the world' thing dull… She enjoyed her somewhat normal life now, she figured she had plenty of time to find the hidden secrets of the world after school…for now she was going to act like a normal sixteen girl, and it was working great in her favor. No more being called freak or insane by the others, she was slowly accepted into the crowd…she enjoyed having friends that actually wanted to do things with her…instead of throw stuff at her… The only problem she had now was her old 'archrival', since starting high school the once proud Irken 'invader' seemed to lose the will to take over the world and instead made it his goal to aggravate her to death.

Speaking of the green annoyance, he seemed to have grown taller through out the years at least 6'2…a fact he pointed out everyday as he loomed over one of the tallest girls in skool…Dib… Being 5'10 was hard to find a date that she didn't have to bend down just to kiss, though it did earn her a lot of, 'OMG, you should be a model!', 'Your legs lead to the center of heaven.', 'I always wanted to be dominated by a taller woman.' Not exactly what someone who was more one the logical side wanted to hear on an everyday basis. Being so tall always lead to Zim randomly showing up to hover over her, only to say something along the lines, 'It must be so hard with legs that long to find someone…luckily you have Zim." She usually ended up either slapping him or just simply walking away, which left the odd alien smiling at her leaving form.

She looked back at him, he was staring at her with an odd smile…she looked down at her clothes then realized why…the rain had left her thin shirt clinging to her white skin…allowing him to get a good idea of what she looked like underneath. Blushing she hurriedly put back on her jacket as Gaz seemed to appear between the two, a slight snarl at Zim sent the green male on his way. Dib looked over her brother's shoulder to watch him leave, the Irken stopped mid-step, turned around to wink at her, "I'll see ya later, Dib-doll.", he blew her a kiss before taking off in full run as her brother went after him for blood. She shook her head, was high skool supposed to be this crazy…or maybe it was just her life that was crazy.

~ ! _ ! ~

Zim growled to himself as he held his eye, the Dib's guardian brother had gotten his hands on the mighty Zim long enough to bruise his eyes before he wiggled free and took off. It was true he had no reason to destroy this puny planet, but he had plenty of reason to be a factor in his obsession's life… He wasn't sure if he was crazy or if all Irken's were the same way…but he needed something to drive him forward…a reason to live… His reasons varied from each passing day…changing along with his moods…some days it was the drive for revenge against his former 'leaders'…or if it was as simple as getting noticed by the seraph of Earth for whatever. He wasn't quite sure why he needed the attention from the young girl…but it made the days of his exile go by quicker…

He had watched her grow, like a flower in the mid of a filthy barren desert…her skin paler then most around her made her seem as though she was a different creature that was just passing through this world, her gold eyes glowed with whatever emotion filled her at the moment, it be happiness or sadness…he could tell what she was feeling just by looking into the honey colored pools. He made observations of her like a scientists would a strange feral animal…which in his mind was pretty much the same thing he was doing. At first it was hard to keep going…he spent the time as though he was a zombie…walking around in a daze losing himself in his own mind… Perhaps he excepted the truth…or he went insane…he couldn't tell anymore… He just knew he had to survive each day, to find a new reason to live on…even if that reason only lasted for the day. It was all he could do from tearing himself apart with his own claws as he screamed in the mixture of relief and the feeling of abandonment…

He looked around his home…the sound of Gir screaming his usual random thoughts could be heard echoing off the walls…a few beeps and pings went off here and there…it was just racket that he had learned to faze out…leaving him with the hum of white noise…he wondered how long it would be until he started hearing voices of those who weren't there from his spiral into insanity…or boredom…he wasn't quite sure yet… But it had to be soon, he couldn't take the loneliness any longer…maybe there was someone that could change that…

~ ! _ ! ~

She laughed as she spun around in the living room, it was time for her show but Gaz wanted to play video games, so she was running from the older sibling with remote in hand. "Dib, give me the remote or I will send you into a world of pure pain and misery as rabid badgers devour your intestines and hornets make their nest inside your eye sockets!" The black haired teen just smiled and dangled the controller in front of him, "You can after my shows." A flash of purple sent her flying backwards onto the couch, her brother tackling her, they both continued to wrestle over the devise only stopping for a second as the doorbell rung. They both stared at the door before looking at each other, "Go open it, SPAZ!" "You go open it, DIPSHIT!" They continued to argue, their father coming up from the basement as the ringing got more and more desperate, he shook his head at the two siblings, "It's good to see those two getting along with each other." He calmly walked over to the door, opening it up to see a frustrated Zim, Professor Membrane nodded at him, "Ah, come in, you must be Dib's little friend, she's playing with her brother at the moment." Zim looked over his shoulder to see Gaz holding Dib in a head lock as she kicked him the legs, "That's some…playing…"Dib looked over at the door, her gold eyes locking with his purple contacts, letting her guard down enough for Gaz to take the remote from her grasp and release her. She looked back at her brother, throwing him a hateful glare as he gave her the finger, turning her attention to the alien at the door she let the matter drop.

Membrane smiled as his daughter walked up to them, she was becoming such a lady, sure she got her recognizable hair from him…but the rest of her was her mother… The gold eyes, the over excitement, the laugh, the beliefs in the paranormal…her face…she was all her mother's child. She had grown so much, her intelligence was so close to his, he was going to be one proud father when he announced her as his successor…if he could convince her to come over to real science… He hoped Gaz would show some interest in the field, it only resulted a look and a 'hell no' from the young lad. He watched her walk up to the young man at the door, he frowned he hoped the green boy wasn't more then a friend…he had already picked out a suitor for her.

Zim watched her walk up to him, a zipper like smile spreading across his face, "Hello, Diblet." She frowned up at him, "Hi, Zim…what do you want?" He tilted his head and put on a sad face, "Well, that's not polite." Membrane nodded, "He's right, daughter, why don't you invite him inside for some coffee!", he then turned to head back down into the labs, "I'm going back to work on my next greatest achievement to mankind!" He laughed as he disappeared into the floor, leaving the two at the door. Dib shook her head, her dad could be so weird at times, she looked back at the visitor, he smiled at her and she just ended up sighing. "Fine come in," she watched him walk into the house, his eyes surveying the scene as though expecting hidden traps to suddenly come out of nowhere and attack him. She placed her hands on her hips, "Don't look so nervous." He turned to look at her, "Can't be to careful in the enemy's base…" She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, if you were a burglar, but you came through the front door which means you're a guest." He smiled and nodded, "Of course, for no security system is too great for the mighty ZIM!" She just shook her head as he pumped his hand into the air as though he had gained victory over something, "Let's just go to the kitchen."

~ ! _ ! ~

She laughed as a container of milk flew by her head, Zim was not a fan of earth food and had no problem showing it, "This is how do you pig monkeys say…CRAP!" He took an apple out of the fridge, looked at it and threw it out the window…she could hear a car skid and a bright light from an explosion flashed for a moment from outside. "Zim, stop wasting our food, we actually need to eat that stuff." He snorted at her request, "Zim will stop when he feels like it or until he finds a snack worthy of him!" He started laughing as he pulled out a candy bar, "Victory for ZIM!", he happily plopped down in a chair across from her. She shook her head, he was so weird…though she really wasn't any better, "Happy now?" He grinned at her as he unwrapped his victorious winning, "Yesss! For Zim has the ultimate of huuuman snacking! And there is nothing you can do to stop ZIM!" She rolled her eyes and took an orange from a bowl that was in the middle of the table, "Oh, that's so horrible, I suppose I have to eat this healthy fruit now, how cruel of you!" He laughed, clearly ignoring the dripping sarcasm from her words as he continued to stuff the whole bar into his mouth.

He licked his lips and happily looked over at her, she was now focused on peeling the orange in her hands, her mouth pulled into a line as she glared at the fruit for being so hard to open. He didn't like that look for her, he preferred her with a smile and a laugh or looking absolutely confused like a lost child…he felt he could overwhelm her if she was confused about something…which wasn't often. "Ha!", she finally managed to peel the orange, she celebrated by taking a bite of it…only to have a sour instead of citrus taste, "Eww! Bad orange!" Zim laughed at the disgust on her face, "Foolish flower child, what would you expect from a thing that came from a nasty outside tree!" She glared at him, "Well, Dib thought it was going to be yummy." He blinked at her, "Is Dib-female making fun of the almighty ZIM!" She laughed then leaned in closer to him, "Dib thinks Zim-alien is being paranoid, she thinks he's being silly thinking she would make fun of him." He leaned in closer t her, their faces nearly touching, he could smell the orange on her breath and her natural smell wafting off of her, the mixture of flowers and candy…so sweet smelling. He frowned at her smile, "Zim thinks, Dib-doll is making fun of him…she should quit it." Her laugh made his antenna twitch under his wig, it wasn't as though it hurt…in fact her voice was actually pleasant…one of the improvements she got from getting older.

He would let her laugh, it was so much better then being alone in his empty base…alone with his thoughts of how he was betrayed…how he was left to rot on a planet that could so easily kill him with water or germs…to leave him alone with an insane robot and the feelings of self-worthlessness… The thoughts of how he would never truly become an invader and how he was so useless…to be left alone for so long…it would be only a matter of time before he snapped… But for now, he would let her laughter fill his mind inside of those horrible thoughts…she would be the object of his obsession that would keep the insanity at bay…he would hang onto her like a drowning man to a life ring…

She stopped laughing as soon as she realized his face held a very serious look to it, "Zim are you ok," he didn't respond. She grabbed one of his claw like hands, "Zim, I'm sorry if you're made that I was making fun of you…I didn't think you would take it so seriously…" He blinked out of his daze as soon as he felt the warmth of her hand over his, he looked down at her pale fingers…so pale, as though she was about to disappear… He looked back at her distressed face, a smile spreading across his face, "Fear not Dib-love, Zim is not angry at you, he is glad you seek to impersonate his greatness!" She blinked at him, then smiled, "Oh, I thought you were angry at-what…did you just call me Dib-love?" He squeezed her hand, "Isn't when huuymans hold hands, they are couplet?" She looked down at the intertwined fingers, a slight blush immediately spreading across her face, "Oh no!" She tried to jerk her hand back, only to find his three fingered claws were attached to her like cement, she looked back at his face…he seemed sad that she was trying to break the connection. "You do not wish to be the love of Zim's?" She looked back at their hands then back at him…then sighed, "Usually Zim, humans ask each other to date, then decide if they want to be girlfriend and boyfriends, then after some time, they may get engaged and in time become possibly get married and have children." He frowned, "All that is pointless, we shall do this like Irkens!" He released her hand and stood up and faced her, she gazed up at him, "If I was an Irken we would…but I'm human and we're on Earth." He waved his hand at her, "All unimportant, now Dib-female shall be Zim's love!", he reached down and grabbed her hand to jerk her out of her chair, it clattered on the floor from the force. Her golden eyes went wide as he jerked her closer, "What are you-", his mouth took over hers, for once silencing her. She stood there in shock…before relaxing into it…she never had been kissed before and often wondered how it felt.

She could feel his tongue swirling around her mouth and his hands pulling her body closer to his…she could feel herself start to give into his will almost unnaturally…until a scream was heard. Instantly she was jerked away from the wonderful sensation, she blinked a few times before realizing her brother must have caught them in the act because he had jerked her away and was now glaring daggers at the alien. "What the fuck do you think you're doing to my sister!" Zim rolled his contacts, "Beginning the ritual of Irken pairing, we release a numbing chemical in our kisses that put our possible mates in a trance that leaves them vulnerable and unable to resist the temptation of mating." That explained why she was starting to become so calm about an alien locking lips with her…and why she was feeling so light headed… Gaz stared at him like he was insane, "Did you just admit to DRUGGING my sister so you could practically RAPE her?" Zim blinked at his anger, "It is a simple Irken gesture…but I suppose in the eyes of a earth monkey…yes, I did." Dib shook her head, "Bad choice of words…", she shouldn't have shook her head, everything was starting to become fuzzy…guess the effect kept going at it even if he was lip locked with her…must be in his spit that came off his tongue as he was shoving it down her throat… Gaz seemed to be frozen at his words, the Irken stared at the eerily calm older brother…time seemed to stand still… "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, FUCKING STUPID GREEN SON OF A BITCH!" Zim screamed as the purple headed teen attacked him, he ran at full speed toward the living room, the murderous Gaz right behind him.

Dib blinked, she finally realized she was alone in the kitchen…and the effects were starting to wear off… She could hear things crashing as screams filled the house, gasping she ran toward the noise, only to see her brother and Zim fighting on the floor. "Guys, stopped this right now!" They ignored her and accidentally pushed themselves through the basement door, causing the two to crash through some wires and cords. Professor Membrane blinked at the two trying to punch each other, "What nonsense is this!" Dib ran down the stairs that her brother and Zim seemed to fly over, "Gaz is upset that Zim kissed me." He raised a goggle ridge at her, then back at the two fighting teens, "Is that all?" Gaz pulled Zim's worm like tongue out of his mouth, "I'm going to cut this piece of shit up and shove it up your ass! Let's see if you want to fuck my sister then!" Zim bit down on his hand, causing him to let go in a cry of pain, the green teenager stood back up, "You evil sibling shall never stop Zim's love for the Dib-doll!" The professor watched as his son attacked Dib's…boyfriend…what…this green kid was his little girl's boyfriend! He looked over at her as she rushed over to the two and placed herself between them, "Stop right now!" As soon as she scream, a siren went off, Membrane seemed to fly over to the computer, a quick scan of the screen before he turned to scream at the teens, "Everyone out! The pressure lines have been cut, the basement shall explode into a fiery mess of flying metal!" Everyone headed toward the basement door, practically falling over each other to get out and crashing on the ground. Zim looked around for his obsession, "Where is Dib-love?"

Dib looked at the stairs before her, the effects came back with full force, her eyesight couldn't focus and her balance was off. "Okay, you can do this!" The siren seemed to get louder and echo through her mind, it was all fuzzy… "DIBLET!" She could hear someone screaming her name, she stared at the stairs…all she had to do was go up them and her dad could shut the reinforced steel door and they all will be safe… She took the first step, her legs giving out from under her causing her to fall…pain shot through out her body…she must have broken her ankle… She coughed…smoke…it was starting to smoke down here, "HELP!", she had to get help…she couldn't make it up the stairs in her condition…

Zim heard her and attempted to jump down the now smoking basement door, but was grabbed by Membrane, he looked back at the man, "Let me go, she needs help!" The scientist shook his head, "You won't be able to see down there," he turned toward Gaz, "call 911, the system was automatically connected to call them but I think that wire was broken." Gaz nodded, a bit in shock that his sister was still down there but he needed to get help and rushed off to the phone. Zim looked back at the billowing smoke…there was a fire…fire burned humans…fire killed humans…when they die…they don't have a computer system hooked up to them to hold their souls in storage until a new body was found…which meant if he lost her now…he lost her forever… He heard her again and tried to escape from the man's grip, "I have to help her!" "You can't go down there!" He had to get her, she was the only thing holding him to sanity…what would he do without that link…he couldn't lose her now!

Dib coughed as the smoke got thicker…her eyesight completely gone from the smoke…she couldn't move now…she didn't know where to go… "DIB-LOVE!" Was that Zim…it had to be…no one else called her that… "ZI-", she was caught off from the explosion behind her…she could feel the shards of metal slice through her flesh and the warmth of her blood spill on the floor… She closed her eyes and tried to hold herself up, but the pain and the quick lost of blood was making her weak…she suddenly felt…light… The pain disappearing into memories of her past, the adventures she had, her victories and her failures…she couldn't help but think…'Is this dying?' She felt…happy…as the memories rushed through her mind…she didn't mind dying…it wasn't so bad…though she wished she could tell everyone how she felt about them…especially a certain green teen that took up most of her memories…even her last one…them laughing together…it was kinda of sad… She was sorta looked forward to being, 'the love of Zim'…she smiled slightly as the flame built around her…

Membrane shut the door closed as an explosion went off, he had to protect them and the rest of the house! Gaz stared at the man that had just shut his little sister in a flaming hell pit, but before he could do anything, Zim attacked the older man, "YOU LEFT HER DOWN THERE!" Membrane could only raise his arms in defense as the Irken went after him with his sharp claws, Gaz instantly ran over and jerked the ex-invader off his father. Zim jerked himself from his grasps and ran toward the door and tried to pull it open, "Why won't it open!" Membrane straightened himself out, "It won't open until the fire dies down, that's how it was built." The purple haired teen snapped his head at the man, how could he say it so…uncaring…, "What about Dib, she's still down there!" The Professor just stared at the door and watched as Zim tried to claw his way through it, "We can pray she's alright…" Zim looked over his shoulder at him, "Praying never done shit for me…"

-! _ !-

Whoa…longest chapter one I have ever wrote! People who are familiar with my stories already know…I don't do happy… I decided to make Dib a female for a more dramatic view, which will come into more of a role in future chapters. Hope ya liked it! Send in your reviews! PLEASE!


	2. Chapter 2

**Breaking From Sanity**

**Chapter 2**

**Passing The Blame**

By: MyNameIsJag

**Author's Note: I don't own IZ. In this story, we find our human hero in female form. So yes Dib is a chick, which complicates a lot of things for the Irken invader…until an accident leaves him searching for the truth. Gaz is a he and is older then Dib, which is going to make him the older protective brother. Contains some swearing and sexual comments.**

**Thank you all who reviewed!**

"_I think reality…is all in our heads…we make it what we want to make it without the realization of our doing…in which…we are the reasons for our own downfall."_

Zim glared at the people before him…earth's emergency squad was sad…they seemed to take their time when coming… But the people he was currently staring at weren't from the medical team, this people where from skool, here to say there final goodbyes… He growled as they walked up to the casket and placed the filthy hands on her, he hated the way her father dressed her…white…nothing but white… He knew she hated that color, she liked black and blue…not white…that was her father's color…the very reason why she hated it so much… Her brother seemed upset about the choice of color as well, fact was he didn't want his father to have anything to do with the proceedings today…he didn't want to see the man at all… But there he was, standing by her laying form, shaking hands with people who had come to mourn her and being told how sorry they were for his lost. To hear such words just made Zim angrier, what the hell did this monster in a lab coat lose, a child he never wanted or that precious lab downstairs! He glared at the man before resting his eyesight on the empty shell of his love, Membrane had picked a dress long enough to hid the burn marks on her legs and the funeral people did some make-up stuff to her to hid the smaller burns on her arms and face. Though to the human eye she looked fine…he could see the marks clear as day…the scars that ran down her from the fire that was hastily trying to devour her.

When they had finally got the door open, no help from the parental unit…he was the first one to rush down there after the flame had died… The truth of his mission wasn't as painful as seeing her lifeless form on the floor, for a moment all he could do was stare at the scene before him. The flames had licked at her legs, pretty much burning them and her coat…her arms and face had welts on them from the heat…but weren't totally destroyed…and her once golden eyes stared out at them in a pale color… His lifeline to the world was burned by the carelessness of a man who's only regret was the research he forgot to save. The only comfort he had was knowing she had died before the fire reached her, her autopsy revealed shards of metal from the explosion had ripped apart her internal organs before exiting the body…so instead of burning…she bled to death… He had wondered where all the blood came from when had rushed over to pick up her dead form…the burns had hid the wounds well…

So now he stood outside in a human burial place, watching others cry over the girl they never really knew… Why were they sad, they didn't seem to care before when she was alive, no…they shouldn't even be here…placing their germy hands on her! He growled at a few to get them to move out of his way, instantly making the pitiful beings back up… He looked down at her, her hair was pulled out of it's usual ponytail and drifted around her like black wings. Her pale hands held blue flowers, a feature her brother demanded they put in there…if he couldn't have the dress blue, he was at least going to have the flowers her favorite color, the same flowers made a small ring over head…like a halo of petals… He reached in and gently touched her face…so cold…like a statue…but he couldn't pull back…it was going be the last time he would ever be able to feel the soft skin of his beloved…why fate was so cruel to him…he'd never know…but it seemed it was determined that he would lose everything dear to him…

~ ! _ ! ~

Gaz never could stood people…they all were so…fake…fake emotions, fake tears, fake words…every single one of them was a faking bastard who were only here because they could meet the 'famous' Professor Membrane. Fucker was probably just using his sister's funeral for publicity, no shame from the man…no tears shed for his sister…not surprising really…he didn't expect the man to show much for a child he never really had anything to do with… If he could, he's glare would have sent the older man in flames…perhaps then he would understand what Dib had to go through… He glanced back at her casket, Zim seemed as though he was ready to crawl in there with her and call it quits to life itself. Like he would allow that reject to be with her in death, he didn't want him near her in life…if it wasn't for pure courtesy toward his sister, he would have kicked the green skinned freak out! He blamed him as much as he did his father, if he would have just left her alone and let her have a normal life…none of this would have happened! He thought the ex-invader would have just left or at least killed himself when he discovered the truth about his 'mission', but instead made it his goal to annoy Dib.

All the girl wanted was to be accepted by people, the very same ones who wanted nothing to do with her…she wanted to feel normal…to see what the big deal was about fitting in? Gaz snorted to himself, he knew she would never actually be normal…she saw the world in a different light then everyone else…to her the world was a wonderful place, beautiful greens and blues mixed into a spinning coloring of life and dreams. Everyday bought a new delight to her, her golden eyes would always shine with laughter and curiosity… But not any more…those colors have faded into black and gray…that life and those dreams are nothing more then a memory…and no longer will he ever see his beloved sister spinning in the rain…laughter filling the air was now silenced…and gold eyes have faded into a dim shadow… All this he blamed his father and that insolent green reject, why should a life such as hers be put out by their foolishness! His glare went from one to another before solidly landing on Zim…he couldn't really do anything about his father…but he could do something about the main culprit…and if he could even make the ex-invader feel just a slight amount of pain his sister went through…it would make his own pain lessen just a little…

He never really showed her much affection, it wasn't because he didn't care but because he wished he didn't care…he did, he really did. His sister was the only family he ever needed, someone who was stuck in the same situation as himself, someone who understood what he was going through, someone he could hold to stop the crying from the loneliness that surrounded them so he would be able to stop his own from showing. He was the dark while she was the light, he scowled while she laughed, he hated people yet she thought they needed saving, the yin and yang of their own little world. And that was how it was supposed to be, he protected her from the realities of human rejection and in return she protected him from the realities of his own emotion. Now there was no protection, he failed to keep her safe, to keep her to shield away his demons, to keep the laughter in the cold air that existed in his house…he failed her where she would never fail him…

He could feel his anger boiling over, the truth of being left as the only outcast in the world that truly knew the facts…all because of his selfish father…and Zim… His eyes darken as he watched the two, he would make it better though…he would make Dib's death a reason for everyone to be sad… He wasn't going go on without protecting her, even if she wasn't alive…he could pretend he could hear her laugh…and he would be hearing her laughter along with his as he made everyone pay… Cause in the end, it's going to be a blast when all is said and the blood is repaid… A cruel smile formed on his lips before he instantly hid it, he and his sister was going to be the ones laughing in the end…he would make sure of it…

~ ! _ ! ~

To see those who loved his daughter made the professor's heart ache with the belief she would truly be missed. An intelligent being with such modesty and grace was indeed a rare occurrence in today's society, and for her to be so young and to have developed knowledge and strength that was well beyond her years would make her departure even sadder… That would be what Professor Membrane would think and say if it was anyone else's child, a shell that he would respect out of concern for his coworkers. But this wasn't just a body, this was his daughter…the only reminding thing he had of his wife and love… He had tried to erase her from the house, taking the pictures and her possessions and hiding them away as though in hopes that the act would erase her from his mind and in turn erase the pain. But each day as he looked at his children, he saw her, Gaz had her hair, even if he didn't want anyone to know it, he had her caring nature…a trait he only showed to Dib…very rarely though. And of course Dib had to want to become just like her mother, the dead woman was like a fiction heroine, a being that inspired exploration and imagination. Being around his daughter as she was growing up made the pain seem to worsen…and because of his deed to erase his love…he was unable to console himself. Yet as the children got older and the pain drifted away, he could finally stand being around them without breaking down at the memories they bought back to him.

Ironic now, in an attempt to save himself from pain from his wife, the memories of his children were short… As he tried to recollect the past, he could only discover he never really had one with them…and now the longest memory he had with his daughter was the day of her death…and the day of her funeral. Instead of being able to recall upon happy past events, he could only think of that day…she looked so happy playing with her brother and her foreign friend. He had no memories of her smiling at him so happily…none of her laughing at anything he said…none of her so excited to see him home… All those years trying to hide from pain…only succeeded in causing him more…

What kind of father is unable to recall his own child's laugh…what did make her happy…what made her sad…what made her who she was…because it certainly didn't involve him… How could he make up for all those lost years now, to show her that he really did love her…there was nothing in the world of science that could ever give him a second chance…

But perhaps he needed to dive into some of his wife's studies of the paranormal…no one would have to know… He had read something on the existence of the human soul and if he could prove it was real…if he could somehow capture it…he could have the chances he missed so many years ago. Even if it was for a brief few seconds, if he could see her smiling at him without pain, without worry…it would make his own emotional torture lessen just a little. If he could tell her that he was sorry for all his mistakes, for leaving her alone for all those years, for her death…would this pain of guilt finally leave him…would she even forgive him…would she even come back long enough to say goodbye. As he stood before the crowd looking solid and still, his mind continued on with questions that could never really be answered…but was he really feeling guilty over the lost of a daughter or his lost of morality…

~ ! _ ! ~

Zim looked down at the grave, it had been weeks since her burial…but he had to come and see her…to see his chain to reality and love buried beneath the dirt and cement of this human world. He sat down on the decaying grass in front of the stone, his purple contacts never leaving the stone that marked her shallow bed, "Hello, Dib-love…" Silence…no whispers like he heard from within his lab…no horrible laughter mocking his failures in the dark…just him and her… "You know, I think there are these things in the shadows…I know you must know what they are, but they keep telling Zim…me…who ever the hell I am now… That it's all my fault…I'm a failure at being an Irken all together and a failure at protecting the one thing that kept me sane…" His eyes closed as gentle wind blew by, to those passing by, a sign of fall…to him, a sign that somewhere she was listening. "I…I think they're right…I know you think different…but you think the world of everyone…" His purple orbs opened slowly, "But what can I do, Dib…I'm so alone…sure I have Gir…but it's not like having you…" He tilted his head to watch children across the street play at the park, their laughter escaping him like a hollow sound, he looked back at the stone. "I think I'm going crazy, I can see you sometimes…just in glimpses though out of the corner of my eye…and your voice…I can hear it in the shadows at night…but it sounds so different then the others…so nice…calling to me to come join you…" He smiled sadly, "Do you miss me too, do you want me to be with you like I do?" The wind blew harder, as though trying to wrap itself around him, he reached out to touch the marble angel on top of the name baring stone, "I knew you did…but I can't right now…" He frowned as the wind stopped and the laughter of children could no longer be heard, "I think…I'm going to follow the voices, Dib…they're right about me failing, so they have to be right about what I should do next, please don't be upset." He removed his hand to place it in his lap as he closed his eyes once more, "I'm going to do what I should have done in the first place, end those who caused my failures," his eyes snapped open, a smile spread upon his face, "Including Zim." He tilted his head and patted the cement blanket before standing up, "So just be patient, I'll be with you soon…it's a promise I can keep…"

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Thank you for reading! I love it when my stories get reviewed, so please do and if you have an idea or a request, don't hesitate to say so. I get happy when someone has their own idea what to do, so please send it in.


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